Thoughts from the Otherworld

Hi Ella!

Writing this in my lull time at the store, since it occurred to me it's been so long since I last wrote to you. Time has flown past here in Bastok, end the store itself is doing reasonably well by now. Calvier and his girl Irene - remember, I wrote to you about them the last time? - got engaged. A bit of a shocker, that. But I figure it's a good time for them, what with him expecting to take over the store pretty soon. Hopefully they'll find happiness.

Got a letter from Jenare a bit ago, says he's finally ditched his family and left to adventure. I thought you might be interested in hearing something like that, since you've always wanted to leave yourself. I don't really know what it is with all of you, sometimes it seems like all the people I get to know better want to leave everything behind for the uncertainty of fighting their way in the wilderness. I suppose it does have its own draw, though.
But my point was - it can be done. I know you're unhappy there.

Say my hellos to your family.
Endahren

Endahren looked down at the yard below. A familiar sight. Almost too familiar, and it brought him some pain to look at it. Almost everything brought him pain at the moment. He supposed it was only temporary, but it wasn't a pleasant experience. Nevertheless, this was his decision.
"I'll miss you terribly, you know that Jenare. Right?" He turned his head away from the view below a slightest bit. He wasn't quite prepared to face the other man yet.
"I will miss you too. Naturally, we are friends." Yes, friends. Nothing ever went right in Endahren's world. Life was too complicated. Perhaps, in a way, this temporary move to Bastok was an attempt to get away from that complexity. But how much would it really help? Everything would most likely still be the same when he returned. Clueless friend, clueless fiancée, and another friend, this one desperate. He loved them all, he could admit that to himself. He loved them so much it hurt. He sighed and turned away from the window. Before he had time to reconsider, he stepped up to Jenare and hugged him tightly.
"Don't go doing anything stupid while I'm gone," he mumbled. He could sense Jenare's confusion. He was a naturally reserved person, not used to displays of emotion like this. Finally, hesitantly, he felt Jenare's hands on his back. The pain inside him flared to life. It could never be. It could never, ever be. "And I know you've stopped writing to that kitty of yours. You start that right up again, you hear? You're not only hurting yourself, but her too."
"I... I will." Endahren knew, the subject was painful to Jenare. His father had been stubbornly against any sort of contact with a mithra, and his death had made Jenare stop his correspondence with the girl. He pressed his forehead against Jenare's shoulder briefly. Life was never easy. His advice was sincere, but it didn't make it stop hurting. He stepped back from the other man.
"Write to me too, every now and then. I'll be busy with the store and all, but I can always spare the time for an old friend." Jenare nodded. Not wanting to delay the goodbyes, Endahren left the room. His old room, above the first Merchell Daily store. The room he had lived in all his life up to now. He could hear Jenare following him. The two made their way to the street below, and separated with brief and wistful but friendly smiles. Jenare headed back home, Endahren to the airship docks. On to Bastok, and a new life.

When Endahren stepped into the Rusty Anchor that night, he somehow knew immediately that something was wrong. He looked around. Jenare was in. That was rare. He dind't usually spend all night here, and the hour was getting quite late. Endahren hesitated for a moment. He didn't really know what the trouble was, but he could imagine. He took a deep breath and walked to the table.
"Hey, Jenare. Didn't imagine seeing you here at this time." He sat down. Jenare looked at him and blinked.
"Ah, Endahren... good evening." Now he knew something was definitely up. It must be that dratted girl. After last Valentione's day, the two had been spending way too much time together. Endahren knew, although Jenare had never said a word of it to him. It was obvious enough. He made a mental note to ask around tomorrow, and to pay Vera a visit. He didn't really appreciate someone screwing around with the mind of his friends.
He tried to think of something to say when his eyes fell on the mug Jenare was nursing. "How many, exactly, have you had tonight?"
"Several," Jenare answered, and took a deep gulp. Endahren looked at him carefully. "I didn't have anything else to do tonight, so why not."
Endahren nodded slowly. This might need some correcting. But tonight...he glanced at the door quickly. He'd momentarily almost forgotten, but he'd promised to meet Nightingale here tonight. "Ah, that so. Need company?" He didn't really know what else to say. Nightingale was coming, but this was Jenare. Nightingale wouldn't mind, right? "I'm meeting with a friend tonight, we thought to see what we can find to amuse ourselves out at the city tonight. See the sights and all, he's only recently moved here."
"That why you've been so busy lately?"
Endahren nodded. He felt vaguely guilty. So Jenare had noticed he was avoiding him. But he might as well tell him something now, it wasn't like it was a big secret or anything. Well, not the mere fact of knowing Nightingale, anyway. "Met him a couple months ago." He reached to Jenare on an impulse and drew the other close. "You really look like you could use some cheering up tonight. You'll join us, right?"
Jenare was silent for a while. "I do not have anything else to do, for certain. Are you sure it's fine by your friend?"
"He's called Nightingale." Endahren looked up. Said boy had just walked in, and was looking at the two of them. He let go of Jenare, and continued. "He's a bard, recently come in from Jeuno." He gestured for Nightingale to join them. Jenare was sitting back up, still close but not quite so close. After a small pause, Nightingale gave a slight nod and came to the two of them. "Here he is now..."
"Hi! Sorry, did you have to wait long?" Nightingale threw a questioning glance at both Jenare and Endahren.
"Not at all, just arrived. Nightingale, this is Jenare, a long-time friend of mine. Jenare, this is Nightingale." The two looked at each other. Endahren felt weird. He hadn't imagined this meeting would happen quite this way, or it ever happening in the first place.
Nightingale smiled at Jenare. "I think Endahren has mentioned you before."
"He has?" Both of the boys, one with silver hair and the other with black, turned to look at him. He had? He cast his mind for something to say.
"Well..of course. You're a good friend of mine."
Jenare gave an amused chuckle and looked back at Nightingale. "It is an honor to meet you, certainly."
"Likewise." Endahren relaxed. This wasn't really too bad. The two of them seemed to be getting along rather well.
"He'll be joining with us tonight?" Nightingale looked questioningly at Endahren. The question surprised him. For a moment, he felt like he couldn't breathe. He knew very well what Nightingale referred to, and it wasn't just a tour of the city. He tried to gather himself. No thinking of that. Definitely no thinking of that.
"He will. I mean!" That could definitely be taken the wrong way. "For the tour. Of the city. Two minds can come up with interesting sights much better than one, right?" He laughed nervously.
Nightingale was visibly amused at him. "It shall be interesting. But I've wanted to see what the night-life of San d'Oria has to offer for a while now. I hope it's not too much trouble."
"Ah, not at all. I'd be glad to be of help." Jenare nodded solemnly at Nightingale. Endahren felt like he badly needed a drink himself. This might not go quite as smoothly as he had hoped just a moment ago.
"Shall we go then?" Nightingale smiled brightly and stood up.

Endahren woke up. From somewhere below came the scent of freshly baked bread. It made his head ache. He hadn't come home until late into the night, and could really use several hours of sleep more. He had even considered spending the night somewhere else since he knew he would inevitably be woken up in the morning here, but had decided against it in the end. Not that he would have had many options for that, since he hadn't had a gil to his name by midnight.

His cheeks burned when he remembered why that was. Nightingale, the boy had given as his name. Certainly not his real name, but it wasn't as if he needed to know the real name. Nightingale was good enough a name, and fitting besides. What he remembered of it, the boy sang like something out of this world. Although he admitted to himself that the impression might have been due to his severe intoxication by that point of the night, he had sobered up considerably after it.

Endahren sighed and wished he could have stayed asleep for a bit more. But judging by the position of the sun, someone would come disturb him at any time now, if he didn't quickly show himself downstairs. While the morning after Valentione's day wasn't the busiest day in business, that was no excuse not to be prepared for the customers. He looked out the window. The sky was partially obscured by clouds, although the sun still managed to shine too brightly for his tastes. There was frost on the window glass, obviously melting in the warmer temperatures of late morning.

He got up and wondered how Jenare's night had gone after he had left. He much doubted anything serious had happened, knowing his friend, but somewhere deep inside there was a part of him that was scared and whimpering in a corner. He supposed there was no denying anything to himself by now, but tried not to think of it. He'd get over this. He was never hung up on any one person for long. A good thing too, for he supposed Mr Delouvien, Ella's father, would kill him if he did. Even as it was he was constantly in trouble trying to keep a balance between his private life and his public life. Sometimes he wondered how long he could keep this up. Even his resources weren't infinite.
Having made himself look presentable, he scrambled downstairs for a bite of something to eat before work. This was going to be a long day indeed.

Endahren sighed and looked out at the sea, leaning on the railing. The sun was just setting, and the crisp air made his breath billow out in a white mist in front of him. It hadn't been a good day for him, although he supposed it had been for several others. Two others in particular, that exceedingly polite friend of his called Jenare, and that slut of a girl Vera. He supposed he should have known to expect something like this if the two were ever brought in contact with each other. Jenare was too young and naive, and that attracted girls like Vera. And for Jenare, attention from a girl like her was rare and welcomed, at least according to what he had seen before becoming too exasparated at his own stupidity. But maybe that had been a mistake too, leaving those two alone like that.

Endahren sighed again and sank his head in his hands. This wouldn't be good at all, he just knew it.
"Feeling better, Endahren?" He looked over his shoulder at the familiar voice. It was Jenare, holding out his cloak. He had forgotten it in the Rusty Anchor in his hurry to get out. But since Jenare was out here, what had happened to Vera?
"Thanks," he said, taking the offered clothing. "Yeah, I'm better. Ready to party all night!" While he didn't like hiding it, there was no way he would let Jenare know he'd been only getting moody because Jenare had paid too much attention to a girl. Pretending was the way to go here. And anyway, the experience might do Jenare some good. Loss of some of that naivety and all? Somewhere deep in his head, a small voice said that he didn't want that to happen even if it might be useful for his friend. It sure wasn't useful to him. He ignored the voice.
"You really shouldn't do that, your father would be angry. You drink too much in the first place."
"Oh, c'mon Jenare. It's Valentione's day and I don't have a girl! Even Ella's ignoring me. I deserve some booze."
"As long as you won't complain to me about your hangover tomorrow." Endahren laughed. They both knew he was going to do that anyway.
"Where'd you leave Vera?"
"I excused myself for a moment when I noticed you'd forgotten your cloak." Ah. So that was it. He felt a bit disappointed. For Jenare, saying that he'd excused himself for a moment really meant just that, and implied he was heading back in right away since his task was done. He never went back on his word, not that Endahren knew of.
"Ah, is that so... well, I think I'm gonna head out and go find Gellenneu and the others. I sure won't be having any luck here, you know." Of course, just an excuse. He didn't want to stay and watch Vera flirt with Jenare any longer.
"I'll be seeing you tomorrow then. Take care now." Endahren nodded, and they both went in their own directions, Jenare back into the Rusty Anchor to be enticed by that girl, Endahren deeper into the city to find his friends. Endahren supposed this would be a frequent occurrence from now on.